


Yachiyo Breaks All the Legs: a short story

by UCCMaster



Category: Magia Record: Puella Magi Madoka Magica Side Story, Mahou Shoujo Madoka Magika | Puella Magi Madoka Magica
Genre: F/F, Fluff and Crack, Gen, Magic doesn’t work if you can’t use your legs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-21
Updated: 2020-07-21
Packaged: 2021-03-04 17:54:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,266
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25430452
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UCCMaster/pseuds/UCCMaster
Summary: If Yachiyo and Mami fought each other seriously, who would win? Why Yachiyo of course! She’d just break her legs.
Relationships: Nanami Yachiyo/Tamaki Iroha
Comments: 3
Kudos: 20





	Yachiyo Breaks All the Legs: a short story

**Author's Note:**

> So a long time ago on Facebook I had put out a poll discussing the idea of writing a series of one shots on Magia Record. After a day of voting, it was decided to write a short piece on "Yachiyo breaks the legs...all of the legs". After being posted on FB, I thought it would be fun to share this all with you.
> 
> I don't own Magia Record or else Yachiyo would solve all battles by breaking their legs.

“Say if Yachiyo fought Mami, who would win?” Felicia pondered out loud.

The quintet had been quietly sitting around the dinner table enjoying Iroha’s totally not a housewife level home cooked meal when the blonde berserker had popped the question.

Yachiyo put down her chopsticks. “Felicia what brought this about?”

The blonde shrugged. “Nothing really. Just considered that you are the most experienced magical girl here and Mami is the most experienced magical girl from Mitakihara. So naturally one of you must be stronger.”

Iroha frowned, her thoughts for once not something other than ‘Yachiyo-san! Yachiyo-san!’ and ‘I must find Ui!’. “Well Mami uses her ribbons and has her muskets, so she’d probably have the range advantage. But she might not be too well at close range.”

“Yachiyo-san has more experience though and probably has defeated ranged magical girls before.” Sana tried to input, but as normal, she wasn’t noticed.

Tsuruno put down her plate. “Obviously shishou would win! After all, Yachiyo would just break her legs.”

The remaining trio stared at the Chinese girl in surprise. She glanced around in surprise. “What? You didn’t know that?”

“W-what do you mean Tsuruno-san?” Iroha gasped in disbelief.

“Yachiyo-san breaks people’s legs?” Sana muttered in fear.

Tsuruno puffed out her chest proudly. “Yep that’s my Shishou! She breaks all the legs...and she’s gone.”

The quartet glance around in shock for indeed she was right. The blue haired veteran had vanished.

“Where did she go?”

The mightiest grinned. “Obviously, she went to break their legs!”

\\---

The group exited the inn only to find the carnage had already begun. All around them, legs were broken. Human legs, magical girl legs, pet legs. The quartet ran up to a familiar group of red, blue, and green, collapsed under a broken cafe table and set of chairs.

“Not like this! Not like this!” Momoko was muttered, her eyes darkened in terror.

“My legs! What the Kyubey just happened?” Rena was moaning.

Kaede whimpered softly, trying to conceal the joy of seeing Rena in such agony. “…fuyuu…”

Iroha glanced at the carnage around them. “How did this happen?”

Rena glared at the quartet. “You better have an explanation for this. One moment we were enjoying a nice dinner, the next, something dashed past us and our legs are broken!”

Tsuruno took in the damage. “Looks like Shishou got the chair and table legs too. She’s improving.”

The blue haired tsundere raised her head up, hissing in pain. “Wait, this isn’t the first time?”

“…n-n-no…not the first time…” The group looked back at the senior member of trio, her face a mixture of pain, agony, and terror. “Yachiyo always had a trigger about breaking people’s legs. Mention it once, and she won’t stop until every leg from Kamihama to Mitakihara is broken. Oh god, oh god, it’s happening again.” She then notices the self proclaimed mightiest girl. “You! Why didn’t you stop her? You knew she goes off like this when people mention legs.”

The group slowly turns back towards the girl. “Come to think of it,” Felicia muttered, “You were the one who mentioned breaking legs.”

The mightiest shrugged. “It’s fun.”

“FUN!?!?” The broken trio screeched.

“How is that trident wielding copycat going off on a rampage fun?” Rena screeched in disbelief.

“Tsuruno you wound me!” Momoko cries in dismay, “You know that mentioning her legs brings up my PTSD!”

“Fuuyuu!” the sadist magical girl exclaims, unclear if her motivation was to see more humiliation of her ‘master’ or actual disbelief.

Iroha sighs. “Well I guess we should follow the damage until we find her.”

Without even acknowledging the trio, the quartet dash down the street, following the carnage of broken humans, chairs, tables, lampposts, axles, and the occasional magical girl.

\\---

Such as a short black haired fashion artist.

“Oof, sorry Yayoi, that looked like that hurt.”

“You bitch…hmm…these broken legs…I got an idea…I can use it for my designs! Now if only I could get to my sketchpad…”

\\---

A certain pair of lesbians…though that could really describe any of them.

“Are you okay Rika, Ren?”

“Oh…don’t mind us! We’ll be fine.”

“Ren…broken legs are not an excuse to grope me.”

“Ahh! Sorry Rika!”

\\---

Or a trio of angsty orphans

“Hahaha! Ayame Mikuri, now who is the stronger one?”

“Damn you Felicia Mitsuki, I will get my revenge next time!”

“Ayame, you shouldn’t get yourself involved in petty squabbles.”

“But Konoha, she dissed me when our legs are broken. What else am I supposed to do?”

“Sigh, I guess we can’t really argue with that. I wonder how Nanaka’s team is fairing.”

“Why are you wondering about NANAKA’s team when your own team is lying broken on the sidewalk?!?”

\\---

Amongst other unimportant people

“Curse you Yachiyo Nanami! Once I fix my gorgeous legs, I will hunt you down and make you pay for this!”

“Who was that?”

“Shishou never remembers her name, so I don’t bother to either.”

\\---

—Mitakihara City—  
Homura shivered around the tea table in the posh apartment that was Mami’s dwelling. Something was wrong and Madoka’s health...somewhere, somehow, was in danger. She glanced around at the three other girls around the table. Madoka and Sayaka were enjoying the cake that Mami had just put out. Mami was enjoying a cup of English tea.  
Rap rap rap!  
The blonde drilled girl stared towards the door. “Now who could that be?” She got up and made her way towards the door. “Perhaps it is Kyouko,” she mused, her hand moving towards the knob.  
Then it happened. The door slammed open, forcing the blonde back before she heard a distinctive crack followed by a searing pain jumping her leg. The girl cried out, crumpling to the floor to allow a tall and elegant woman dash into the room. Well she should have been elegant had her hair not been draped over her face, obscuring her features.  
“Break them all! Break them all!” The girl cried out in a crazed cackle.  
“Tomoe-san!” Madoka cried out, standing up.  
“Why you!” Sayaka yelled, already transformed.  
Homura stood behind the two in fazed shock before she shook her head to clear it. That’s when she noticed her fatal error. The three of them were in a perfect line. Against the Blast Gorilla of Kamihama. Oh this was going to hurt.  
The crazed maniac raised her trident and BLAST combo’d her way through the trio. The first BLAST shredded through their thighs, causing Madoka to collapse in pain.  
Sayaka went down but didn’t seem fazed. “Ha, my speciality is regeneration. It will take more than that to put me down!” She taunted, pulling herself off the ground.  
BLAST!  
“Argh my legs!” Sayaka went down again. “How’d you do that?”  
“You can’t use your magic if you can’t use your legs.”  
“But that doesn’t make any sense!”  
BLAST!  
Sayaka went down and stayed down. “Ok I get it.” She grunted, “staying down.”  
Homura, having timestopped her way out, reached for her handgun to shoot the insolent who had dared harm Madoka when suddenly she felt a pain jump up her leg.  
She looked down and saw the trident impaled in her thighs. But how? How had the spear moved even in her time stop?  
“Because you can’t use magic when you can’t use your legs.”  
Homura stared up at the frozen girl. She was still frozen. But the trident still remained impaled in her legs.  
“That doesn’t make sense” Homura managed before fainting, her last vision of a blue haired lancer standing over the unconscious bodies of her friends.

\\---


End file.
